Bank holiday greetings to you all. The front part of my brain says 'ouch' while the rest of it says 'sweet holy mother of the sacred heart of the crucified Jesus, what have you done to me?'.

I'm choosing not to answer it. Footballers, what a weird bunch of people they are. Some of them are like politicians - evasive, full of lies and, for some inexplicable reason, they think we're as thick as bottled shit. Take Emmanuel Adebayor. No, seriously, take Emmanuel Adebayor. Haha. But really. He has